Thinking about What Makes for a Meaningful Life… The Start of a Longer Conversation
As I prepare to write my next book (it is about teachers), I have been reflecting on what makes for a meaningful life. Surely teachers enter their profession because they want to have and believe their profession will enable meaningful lives, based in large part on the contributions they can and do make to the students they teach and mentor and counsel and support.
Some teach well into their senior years. Some turn to substituting thereafter. Some tutor. Some mentor. I’m not talking about occasional and random bumping into former students in community settings; I am talking about continuous engagement that has meaning. Many educators do that.
To add context: My mother worked as an educational diagnostician until she was 87, the same year she stopped downhill skiing. She is someone who was and remains deeply beloved and yes, she surely loved, including her love for my father. But this is key: she gave back throughout 5 plus decades with regularity, helping students no one else would (or perhaps could) help, often at reduced costs or with costs borne by schools that retained her.
Regrets and Meaning
Two questions/words have me thinking. First is the term “regrets” addressed in a relatively new book by Daniel Pink, not surprisingly titled The Power of Regret. I am pondering that concept and the benefits that derive from regret. I have not seen regrets generally and mine in particular, until now, as a positive.
I have also been wrestling with the last bonus question in James Ryan’s Wait What and Life’s Other Essential Questions. The question focuses on a line from a poem from Raymond Carver which asks: “Did you get what you wanted from this life, even so?” Notwithstanding all life throws our way (many hurdles), are we satisfied in the face of death? The answer in the poem is “yes” and here’s why the author observes: “[I] call myself beloved, …feel myself beloved on this earth.”
Now, I would ask a similar question: “Are you satisfied with your life, even though?” My answer, which differs from Carver’s and Pink’s, will await another blog. But, I have been profoundly influenced by some words Daniel Pink spoke to Oprah. She asks him: “What makes for a meaningful life?” Pink answers that being (and feeling?) loved is key (akin to the Carver poem) and he includes loving others.
But there are other aspects he includes that he thinks give life true meaning. He adds that for a life to have meaning, it involves this: “Being a good, just and generous person.” It is these words that have captured my interest. Isn’t that what (most) teachers are?
In a world filled with violence and meanness and folks who fight and are snarky and selfish and self-motivated and non-giving, how powerful is it to ask this question: Are we, as humans, being good and just and generous?
Phrased differently, do we treat people well, do we fight for justice for those in need and are we generous with our time and money to help those who need our support, our assistance, our wisdom, our time? Of course, we have some regrets in our carrying out this powerful charge (surely we don’t always get it right). But overall, we need to ask ourselves: “Are we living a life with meaning?”
As I reflect on the lives of teachers and the challenges they face day-to-day, I am struck by the question of James Ryan and with the comment by Daniel Pink. Yes, both men are onto something critically important to living a life with meaning: it involves giving to others. That’s what teachers do every single day. It is in the air they breathe. But, I am wondering whether that quest naturally involves exposure to failures (are those the same as regrets?) and whether that exposure leads educators to dissatisfaction in their work and workplaces.
These are all questions worthy of our time, our thoughts, our efforts. And, yes, the new book will address, among other issues, the life of educators (having been one for 5 plus decades). Their lives matter.
