Thinking About How Tall We Are (or Are Not as the case may be)
Yes, I am the one pictured above reading the book (some moons ago) and yes, I am not tall. It is for this reason, among others, that I recommend to you Robert Reich’s new piece on his own short stature. Here’s the link:
https://robertreich.substack.com/p/why-im-so-short
But, I also wanted to share my comments (posted online) to his post. There are several reasons, including points of disagreement with Dr. Reich (whose intellect and humor I applaud mightily and always have).
I raise these points because I think words can and do hurt — and that is important to remember, including in the context (word choice?) of the three elite university presidents’ recent testimony before Congress. What may appear “fine” legally may be dead to rights wrong morally. Words matter too in the context of plagiarism or copying or borrowing the words of another. We control our words or their absence. We control if we take the words of others without attribution. We use words; they are ours. And what we choose to say or not say has an impact. Yes, silence has a profound impact too.
I know the negative impact of words spoken and not spoken. As a college president, I developed thicker skin. People usually don’t call or frequent your office to say what a good job you are doing as president. No, they call or come because something is amiss in their eyes and you (the one where the buck stops) can solve the situation (in their favor of course).
I know too about words or their absence relationally; my late husband lost his filter due to Alzheimer’s Disease (although to be fair to those who knew him, his filter was sometimes weaker than many pre-disease). I have (had?) a romantic partner for whom silence and/or short responses are the norm. One or two words when I need 20 or more. And I read into silence and non-answers. They speak, at least to me and but not to him.
With that background, here is my comment (in full) posted in response to the Reich article. They make the most sense AFTER reading his piece.
And, to avoid any questions here, I am quoting myself!
I wanted to share three thoughts on the excellent, open, honest piece by Dr. Reich. (1) I was struck and had to re-read twice or three times the reference to Amazon — initially, I thought it was referencing stature not a store (missed humor by Reich); (2) For many, words do hurt; they hurt a lot. And the old adage about sticks and stones is plain wrong. Recently, seeing my accomplishments on paper and never having met me, a potential date person (as noted, I’m widowed) wrote via text : “Oh, you’re a smart Alec, know it all-ski.” I am NOT meeting this person and it wasn’t humor; it was snarky (he’s now blocked); and (3) I grew up in the land of giants (all members of my immediate family towered over me). It wasn’t easy; I wasn’t supported; I was made to feel lesser because I was “less” tall. That’s unacceptable and perhaps even cruel and so I am less sanguine than Dr. Reich or perhaps just less fortunate in terms of family behavior. I do remember him in a Westchester tree nursery pulling a red wagon….picture it. He was recognizable and self assured.
On the plus side, I have been graced with the ability to wear high heels although as I age, I do that less. As a college president in Vermont, those heels were a frequent talking point and folks remarked that they always knew when I was coming their way and yes, the head of facilities made me my own box for behind a podium (I’ve used milk crates in other places). I hate podiums and choose to speak in front of them (excluding the one at the Department of Education (where I worked for a bit) as it had a podium that moved up and down) …. I have had amazing opportunities to work with children and they seem to like my height and flexibility and ability to get on the floor (I’m 5’ 2” on a good day). So height remains a stigma (less for women) and yes it can be navigated. But it isn’t always so easy or funny or lighthearted. Just saying. And my name is Karen — another dreadful new prejudice abounds surrounding my name. At least Robert doesn’t have that!
