Read to and Read With: Feel Good and Do Good Strategies for 2025 and Beyond
I and many others have written about the power of reading to and with kids, and not just when they cannot read on their own. Reading together has enormous power. And it creates connection and it is fun. And, there is learning too, about ideas and people and values and events. Reading engenders imagination and creativity. This latter observation might account, at least in part, for why I write children’s books.
I still have (or have re-ordered and stored) the favorite stories I read to my now adult son, at least 200 times (no typo) each. I’m hoping that when he has children, I can share these stories with them (assuming the books remain relevant and are not outlandishly out of date).
Of course, reading alone (as many but surely not all of us experience) has plentiful joys and emotions connected to it and provides stellar insights and value in our lives as adults. Many a book has caused me to shed tears, often plentiful ones. Others have pushed me to act or have triggered my anger button.
What I am suggesting here is additive, not substitutional. And yes, sadly and importantly, reading isn’t pleasurable for far too many adults (plentiful reasons for this).
Let me share now the power of reading to and with adults including friends and lovers. As a very recent piece by Kirsch in the NYTimes pointed out and was the catalyst for this blog post, there are enormous benefits from reading to and with another person, noting that today we have many forms of listening to books. (Let me add, to contextualize, I am not an audio book fan….many reasons for sure.)
Adults …..
As grown ups, we are well aware of reading selected books simultaneously as is done in book clubs and also between two friends or a loving partner. Think Oprah. Sharing about a book and its themes and messages has import. To add in my personal history: I have been in and out of book clubs since my 20’s. And I have a wonderful neighbor with whom I share books to read (often tied into some event or exhibit we have seen). We read independently and then talk. It is amazing and adds enormously to our lives.
But the Kirsch article reminded me of special times I spent with a former lover (call him R) reading to him and his reading to me. The article had an illustration of a couple reading one book together on a sofa. R was experienced at this reading together habit, having read for many many years to his then ill wife (who passed away). I had no experience with reading to or with another in my adulthood, although I often discussed and shared what I was reading with my now late husband of 40 years and another lover thereafter.
But the reading to someone, often in person or, when not together over the phone or Zoom as bedtime approached, was remarkable and intimate. R was a wonderful reader and he listened well when I read to him. I was never particularly good at reading aloud, skipping over words or adding words as I went. He didn’t seem to mind my stumbles.
But as we read book after book aloud, I got better and more expressive. When a day passed without reading like this together, I felt something was missing. As I reflect back, I think some of our best times were spent reading to and with each other. And while our relationship ended (long story there and I have written about it in a post titled Three and a Half Men), the memory of reading together endures. And the Kirsch article made me realize I miss it….still.
One interesting added benefit is that R and I often read books I never would have read on my own. I don’t tend to read about history or events; I read about people and social trends (think Gladwell and Pink). But together we read lots about history and events with a local flair.
So here’s a New Year’s suggestion: find someone with whom you can read. Simultaneous reading is good. Even better, read to or with someone. And if there is no someone in your life at present (or a someone willing and interested in doing this), read to children whenever you can or read to adults in hospice or in a nursing home.
Words of course have power. So does reading them with and to another. Joy and connection and intimacy await. Try it! A simple but beneficial way to feel warmth and improve one’s mental wellness through connection. Books aplenty await.
