Meanness Increases with Insecurity: Ouch!

It’s been quite the week in American politics. And meanness from Trump was at a high pitch tonight when he spoke at a rally for the first time since Kamala Harris’s presumptive nomination for the Democratic Party’s President. It is worth listening for even five minutes.

Trump’s meanness was evident as he criticized Harris (mispronouncing her first name too). Seeing her rise rapidly in popularity, he got his lying talent onto display. One lie: she never went to the border. A lie. She is worst VP in American history? Really? How about Spiro Agnew for starters? Another lie.

Trump’s words and tone were unbearably mean. My take: Trump is threatened by Harris’s candidacy. And his “sure win” isn’t so sure any more. And he must feel older; he must be questioning his VP choice JD Vance. When threatened and feeling unsafe and insecure, Trump is mean.

As readers know, I have been focused on meanness with some frequency. It is on the rise, something I am sure you have noticed. It has been evident in schools, workplaces, cars, airplanes, families. I was just working with school superintendents/principals, and I asked attendees how many of them saw/experienced meanness in schools. Answer: 100%.

When I’ve discussed meanness, I attribute it to many reasons. Would that there were only one. But here’s one: insecurity about oneself, feeling threatened by others, feeling at risk can each produce meanness. We launch into mean was as a firm of self-defense.

Think about our youth. Kids are mean to other kids who may feel threatening to them. Or they are mean to other kids who show vulnerability because the vulnerable kid can’t fight back. Kids are mean because it makes them feel better and included. Awful. Accurate.

In this context, the absence of kindness role-models is striking. The omnipresence of social media encourages and promotes meanness. The student with the cellphone videoing bathroom scenes is not uncommon. Trump actually said he was supposed to be nicer post his assassination attempt. But, he asked the crowd whether they would support his being “not nice,” and the crowd roared. Meanness in the air. Meanness in tone. Meanness in delivery.

And all of this happens before President Biden’s speech on why he chose not to run again. My bet: President Biden displays dignity and kindness and genuine patriotism. No regret but sadness.

To be sure, kindness doesn’t sell as well as meanness. Bullies and mean folks get what they want and need: attention.

Would that we can work on enabling candidates to agree to disagree without meanness. Assume that these folks can address their insecurity in other, better ways like therapy or introspection. Would that we’d gave the national desire to cut off meanness and ask for thoughtful dialogue …. Fight hard for what one believes without meanness.

Not happening.

Sadly, I think meanness will continue for months to come and those who will pay the price (among others) will be our children. That reality makes me sad but not mean. I cannot and will not be mean or tolerate meanness. That train left the station long ago.

And you?