Living Life With Intensity

There is a line translated into English from a poem written by the now deceased Brazilian poet (musicologist, novelist, art historian) Mario Raul de Morais Andrade (the line is translated differently in different versions) that says: “I am in a hurry to live with the intensity that only maturity can give.”

Ponder that. As I have been thinking and writing about aging for a while (when there is more behind you than ahead of you, it matters), this line from Andrade’s poem struck a chord. It does each time I reread it.

As we get older, there is less time for waiting; time becomes something for doing. Whether that is work or romantic relationships or friendships or travel or reading or doing sports, there is an urgency that previously did not exist. It is not the urgency to reach the top. It is not the urgency to show others one’s success (don’t get me started on Pickleball tournaments). It is not the urgency to travel just to travel.

It is the urgency to live life fully and completely. What that entails most assuredly differs from person to person. Intensity doesn’t have to be identical among people; what is intense and comprises intensity may differ among us. I realize that the common understanding of the need to slow down as one ages, often cited as the mantra for those who are seniors, is NOT for me.

For me, the next chapter is about intensity — of feelings, of relationships, of love, of intimacy, of helping others to grow and flourish and be their best selves, of being in the now, of deep understanding of myself and of others, of being open to ideas, people, opportunities, challenges, risks. It is about living with fullness, it is about problem solving not problem creation (whether small or large) and leaving behind a repository of caring and compassion and creations/ creativity and consideration that will endure.

There is another line in that same Andrade poem that is worth repeating too. And before citing the line, here’s why this line matters. Our journey forward hopefully isn’t alone. Whether one has work friends or a romantic partner or deep friendships or family or neighbors or caregivers, connections count. And while the circle does close somewhat with death and illness and normal fractures over time and space, we need people in our lives at all ages and stages. I don’t like the analogy that getting older is like the shrinking concentric circles of water in a sink, all headed for the drain.

But, and this is where the line of the poem comes in, we need to be around the right kind of people, those who support us emotionally, those who are tolerant, those who are giving and capable of receiving, those who listen, those who have lived life with all of its inevitable hurdles. It doesn’t matter their gender or race or ethnicity or age; it doesn’t matter if they are rich or poor or somewhere in-between. What matters is that they have experienced life and can share that experience and the wisdom it generated.

And now the line: “I want to surround myself with people who know how to touch hearts, people who have been taught by the hard blows of life to grow with gentle touches of the soul.”

Onward. Forward. It is time.