L.I.V.E. — Words to Live By
Lots of people have lots of advice as to how to grow old with grace and wisdom and with one’s health physically and mentally intact. Since I have many more years behind me than ahead of me, I have been doing lots of thinking about my next chapter(s). That’s how I came up with the acronym L.I.V.E. Seems like an apt word! And as we age, acronyms are useful memory devices.
My insights are grounded not just in my own reading and thinking. They are also based on observation, including of folks where I live.
Start here: my mother is now 97; she worked until she was 87, the same year she stopped skiing. She provided advice to educators (me included) until recently. She is still in a book club and a movie club. She goes out (“out” in a key word) with friends. Although she travels less these days and naps more, she has been active in every sense as she ages. (My sister has been a remarkable motivator and that surely helps.)
In my neighborhood, senior type folks work and volunteer and do art. A horticulturalist tends her large garden still and volunteers regularly at her spiritual home including cooking for events. Another individual works for the local town to share advice with tourists as to community comings and goings and then she herself goes to such events. Another substitute teaches and she’s well into her 80’s. Another runs missions to an island sorely in need of medical attention. It is pretty amazing. Yes, there are exceptions, like someone who has no interests and does not read or volunteer or exercise or participate in the community but keeps the tv tuned to the Hallmark channel.
So, here’s my thinking embodied in the acronym L.I.V.E. and one by which I am trying to “live” in my own life. Indeed, just crafting and then effectuating one’s next chapter has value as it provides a way to think about the future with hope and concrete action steps.
L is for Learning
If we continue to learn, we commit to moving forward. Learning can happen in a myriad of ways: taking a course, traveling, going on a mission, joining a book/movie club, listening to podcasts on amazing topics, visiting museums and art openings, participating in community activities, doing art especially in a new medium, trying a new skill like baking or AI enhanced art or pickleball or paddle tennis. And that’s just a starter list. And the key is to do one or more of these things regularly and continuously but also changing them up.
Example: Last night, I went to an interview (with samples of my art) to see if I could be accepted into gallery space located outside of Boston. What an experience, explaining and sharing my art and my reasons for wanting gallery space and realizing the power of moving into unfamiliar places and spaces. And even if my art and I are not accepted, the whole experience has value: preparing, reading, deciding on art to share, preparing an art bio, traveling to/from the location (80 minutes away).
I is for Investing
Folks may think this relates to investing in $$ or stock or bonds to insure one has fiscal security in one’s next chapter. True but that is not my meaning here (as important as wise investing is and avoiding plentiful scams).
I is for investing in others. The literature is clear: helping others helps the helper. And investing in real friendships (existing and new) has import too. The point is to activate mirror neurons — - one’s empathy engines.
There is no shortage of opportunities to give back to others with regularity. This “I” thing can take many forms: working in a soup kitchen, gallery sitting (key where I am), shelving books in a local school or library, baking cookies for seniors, visiting senior centers to talk to others, volunteering in a hospice unit, volunteering in a neonatology unit to hold babies, talking to animals at a shelter, having lunches and dinners with friends, going to places with friends. Planning for and doing these types of things confirms one’s participation in life and ensuring that one has a life well-lived. And for those of us who still work a lot even as we age (as in several or more hours each day), that counts too.
Example: I have a friend who is a retired family doctor. She regularly visits hospice patients in their homes. She does this regularly. She isn’t providing medical care in any traditional sense but she surely is caring for others. Now this wouldn’t be my thing (I have problems with death and dying) but this works for her, in addition to her book club and bridge club and more recently, an online sewing club. And she travels regularly!
V is for Vitality
We do better if we exercise physically. This can take many forms but the key here is regular exercise. And if one needs a class or a trainer, that’s OK too.
Consider walking. Consider a sport like pickleball or kayaking or canoeing. There is chair yoga (and regular yoga). There are visits to a gym. There are stretch bands and weights and Pilates. Dance classes too. There are videos and podcasts where one can work with others on exercise routines. There are group and solo classes of a wide ranging sort. I’ve seen people with walking partners (every morning) and paddle board partners in good weather (me).
Now, this “V” thing isn’t easy for me and sadly, my own approaches have been episodic. But, I keep trying and even if I am walking up and down 6 flights of stairs daily (they are at the entry to and within my home), that still counts. And I park far away from where I am going, not in front. And I walk Wrinkles my dog and not five or ten steps outside the door. I’ve even gotten someone to take long long doggy walks with me every weekend day (weather and travel permitting).
So, in the absence of a quality regime (which I agree is best), I am still being active. NB. Since I do plentiful travel, walking to/from gates in a large airport is plentiful activity in my view because, for reasons I don’t get, I always land at and take off from the gates that are farthest away from anywhere!
E is for Enjoy
There are many possible “E” words including mental and physical exercise. But my “E” word is enjoy. Life has much to offer and folks who regularly complain and are naysayers are not enjoying the plentiful ways one can experience joy (as in en “joy”). They are downers when we benefit from uppers (and I am not talking about drugs or meds here).
Consider this list: go to a concert of a fabulous singer (I just saw Andrea Bochelli — amazing), see a new movie or television series (I just saw Maria, the Maria Callas documentary — amazing), visit a new place or a new restaurant or a new art exhibit (I just went with a friend to the MFA to see the Georgia O’Keeffe and Henry Moore show — amazing), travel to a beautiful place where you’ve never been (I just visited to The Oaks — amazing).
NB. I am reissuing my children’s book series titled Lady Lucy’s Quest with an amazing designer and this counts as enjoyment too as will reading the revised books to children across the globe. Adults like the books too!
L.I.V.E
This is a useful acronym for how to live the next chapter(s) of one’s life. Once one’s family is grown and one’s career has crested, that does not mean the book is closed and life is finished. For me, at least, pondering life’s next chapter forms a useful way for adding (years) to one’s life and ensuring that one leads a meaningful and full life, leaving a footprint that endures…. Another use of the “E” letter! Join me readers in living a full and wise and active and caring life by living and being aL.I.V.E.
