Is Humility What We Need to Cure What Ails Us? I’d Suggest a Different Term
In a recent opinion piece in the NYTimes, Frank Bruni (not the Frank Bruni whose work I revere) indicates that our civility is cracked (I agree) and what we need to be is humble. Humility is the key term for Bruni — we are too arrogant and filled with pride and that disables us from engaging thoughtfully and peacefully and productively with others. He approaches his students by suggesting everyone needs a dose of humility.
I agree that civility is on the decline. I have written and will continue to write about meanness. And, I don’t think one quality — in Bruni’s case humility — will solve all that ails us. Having humility isn’t a bad thing; it’s a good quality. Here’s a link to his piece:
But…….
Were I to pick one word to address what ails us in American society now, I would choose the word “grace.” I think we need to exhibit more grace and I am not using it in the religious sense. I am talking about tolerance and acceptance and ways of disagreeing and ways of forgiving. In short, I am talking about a word that is positive, a word that isn’t about taking away a quality but a word that imbues qualities.
I posted a comment on the NYTimes website related to Bruni’s piece. Here it is in its entirety.
Of course, the devil is in the details. It starts with defining “humility.” Were I to describe what we are missing in our society, that is not the word I would use, as important as the absence of arrogance is. I would say we are missing “grace” — not in a religious sense to be sure. But, grace is a quality that allows one to be open without being oppositional; it is a quality that enables one to accept the views and situations of others; it is a quality that allows forgiveness. We could be wise to exercise “grace” more often. And, for me, the word “grace” seems forward looking and wise and about presence; humility seems to be more of what needs to be absent as we engage, eradicating pride and arrogance and self-righteousness. Grace is active. Humility seems way less embracing and way less graceful. Perhaps it’s a matter of word choice….and definitions.
True, one word is not enough to solve all that ails us. That is for sure. But, as I get older (I’m old by some definitions), I think aging enables grace although I do not see why grace (or wisdom for that matter) are reserved for the older people among us. We all can exercise grace (and wisdom). It would serve others and ourselves well.
