I Think Narcissism is Catching

Most psychiatrists would say, I think, that narcissism is a personality trait. And it can become a true and serious mental health disorder. Add in that there are few successful treatments.

That’s bad news given how many narcissists seem to be in political power at present. The degree of self-importance and self-focus is astounding; the lack of empathy is staggering. I have to wonder how long that many narcissists can co-exist? At some point, they could turn on each other, right?

My Current Observation

Perhaps it is my imagination but the number of narcissists seems to be growing. Are they just popping out of the proverbial woodwork because our President exhibits narcissism? Or, am I just noticing it more? Or both?

I am here at LAX ready to take the RedEye home after working in CA for several days. (A successful but tiring trip). I’m sitting in a lounge drinking tea and I have a long layover. Then: Three things happened:

1. Several people (all men coincidentally) were using various ear buds and speaking loudly on their phone as if no one could hear. I mean loudly. Disruptively loud. Didn’t they notice other people around them? Didn’t they care that folks were overhearing their calls, including about confidential business information and personal data too? Beats me. The inattentiveness to the other is startling. I told at least 3 of them to please quiet down and the women near me smiled appreciatively.

2. A manager at the lounge suddenly called out loudly to a colleague down at the other end of the large room, starting a conversation (non-work related) as if no one within the lounge could hear. Are you kidding me? Everyone heard! Disrespectful. Unaware of the impact on others. And how does one so blatantly ignore other people? I spoke up again and he apologized. But:

3. Another person, a passenger using the lounge, was nearby as this incident with the manager occurred (he had been one of the phone shouters I singled out) and said to the manager in Spanish, that he didn’t see anything wrong with shouting and I was just being a pain. Well, I turned around and said in perfectly accented Spanish: “Be careful what you say because those around you might understand.” And I then added in Spanish that he should be vastly more aware of the other. That silenced them both.

Results

Well, the lounge is way quieter now. The manager disappeared. The loud men are not shouting into their phones. Even so, I can’t help but think that the repeated, ongoing, accepted narcissism of leaders is being picked up and adopted by others as an acceptable way of dealing. It seems that it is now OK to be self-focused and unattuned to the other. Folks are acting rudely and meanly as if that is how we behave in our civilized culture.

Well, perhaps meanness and rudeness have become the norm these days, which gets me to my thesis: Narcissism is catching. Unlike a bad virus where people mask up, folks seems to think this self aggrandizement virus (as if one owns the air and space they are in and have a patent disregard for or assume the invisibility of the other) is a great thing to catch and a great way to behave. There is attentiveness to the me and the me and more of the me; empathy dissipates and even in a large room, one acts as if one is alone and can populate it with one’s voice and one’s business and one’s personal life.

Pretty scary virus in my view. And we know vaccines are on the outs these days too.