He’s a “Complicated Fella;” Why is that an Insult in the Sports World?
Demeaning Aaron Rodgers
Recently, the President of the Packers Mark Murphy (citing a now deceased General Manager) referred to quarterback Aaron Rodgers as a “complicated fella.” He then added “So, I’ll just say that.” Clearly, Murphy did not intend the words “complicated fella” as a compliment. Apparently, it was/is code for someone who is difficult or irascible or different.
Stated in decoded words: Aaron Rodgers is just plain hard to deal with as a player.
Listening to sports talk radio over the past several days, it is clear that many sportscasters saw the comment by Murphy as derogatory too. They focused on air and with callers on the two words “complicated” and “fella.” Both raised negative connotations for people. The team president was “dissing” the star QB.
“Complicated” is a substitute word, it seems, for a quarterback who won’t tow the mark that many athletes do to keep their job and earn their millions. Rodgers unwillingness to comply with the team demands makes him “complicated.”
Rodgers recent efforts to stay away from his team (former team?) are viewed as a defect in his character. The usual ploys to keep an athlete as part of a team aren’t working: money; redoing a contract; perhaps even firing a high level employee. Instead, Rodgers is bringing other needs/desires/wants into the discussions/situation/decision-making process.
Rodgers was offended by the draft of a quarterback by his team (and trading up) without consulting him; he is offended by how he is treated and questions why the team will not surround him with more players with needed skills (like a receiver). He has a fiancee and he is detached from his biological family. He has been a guest host on Jeopardy after Alex Tribeck’s death.
In short, Rodgers is not the typical athlete.
Now, the word “fella” is characterized as negative too. It is sort of a slap at a friendly relationship. It isn’t a formal word like “player” or “man.” It is a toss-off term almost. It is a word to message that someone isn’t a key member of a senior decision-making team. It is the sort of word that one uses instead of “jerk” or “non-weighty” friend. We don’t say in sports “he’s a good fella” and mean by those words the player is a fighter for his team and always goes with the team desires.
Complicated isn’t an Insult
For me, complicated isn’t a negative term. It isn’t an insult (although intended to be by the Packers). Many of us (present author included) are complex. We have lived lives filled with difficult issues (as well as positive ones). We have overcome obstacles and wrestled with who we are and what matters to us. We have struggled with family; we have made career choices that left some puzzled. We have swum upstream at times, as others are just floating along. We think about choices and make decisions with care and with lots of reflection and contemplation. We often exert way more time than others to working or problem solving or answering questions.
And. money and being the “center” aren’t always or often key drivers. We reflect (perhaps too much) on what we see as personal affronts. We are sensitive in ways that may not be obvious or recognizable. We may be motivated by values or goals we haven’t expressed or shared with others — sometimes even ourselves. Our motivations escape others.
I and others like me are used to hearing people say things like this to us: “Go easy.” “Take a breath.” “Don’t personalize everything.” “Give it a break.” “Just enjoy.” “Stop thinking.” “Relax.”
I get the point: not everything is a momentous decision. Not everything needs to be deeply reflected upon before a decision. It’s OK to be looser and easier and go with the flow — — until it isn’t OK anymore. And, I get that complicated people are time-consuming and time consumers.
And the term “fella” or some female equivalent is not how most people refer to us complicated folks. I can’t imagine people holding up beer mugs and singing to me: “She’s a good fella.” People are more likely to say (at least I hope so): “she’s a good egg.” That’s an expression, old-fashioned to be sure, to suggest that someone is kind. They do good things; they care about others. It reflects stability and decency and reliability. And good eggs stand in contrast to bad eggs.
And true, us complicated folks are not “easy days at a beach” people. And, yes, we would benefit from loosening up a bit — or more than a bit.
In Sports, Complicated Costs in Too Many Ways
In the world of sports, perhaps there isn’t time for or interest in complicated folk. They take too much attention. One has to work beyond the superficial with complicated people; others need to listen; they need to be sensitive and responsive. Complicated people don’t get persuaded by the easy answer or the common answer or the expected answer.
We are used to many uncomplicated athletes. Other athletes who are “complicated” often get reputations as being difficult or off-center or problem children (a phrase that makes my blood boil). Look at Naomi Osaka. Her decision to withdraw from a tennis tournament due to her mental health was derided by the tennis authorities. Really?! In other sports, we have “complicated” players; often the best players are complicated. I am sure readers can name two or three right off the top of their heads.
And remember, being a complicated person is not another way of saying or substitute phraseology for difficult people or wrong-headed people or bad people. In the real world, complicated people are among those who add reflection and care for others and deeper decision-making into their lives. It isn’t bad; it may be unusual in certain contexts and professions but it is most assuredly not damning. Sure, there are some complicated people who are also hard to get along with in certain circumstances. Not all complicated people are great human beings.
Conclusions about Complicated People
Many complicated people become our best leaders, our best athletes, our best authors, our best artists, our best entrepreneurs. Bottom line: being complicated isn’t an insult; it is an observation about decision making architecture and approaches to life and problem solving; it is a reflection too of one’s past in many cases.
For me, Aaron Rodgers may be complicated. That isn’t an insult. That makes him a thinking person who happens to be a stellar quarterback and whose life decisions are his own and he follows a path with which he is comfortable.
Try it this way: Complicated people aren’t “good fellas” who just go with the flow. They look at the flow, they assess the flow and they decide whether to swim up or down stream. If anything, we should want complicated people in our lives; they add thought, feelings and non-monetary richness to the process we all undertake: navigating forward in a complex world. Hang out with them…..on occasion and with the right friends, they can actually be fun too.
