Explain Bad Behavior to Me Please…I Can’t Figure it Out…
So, I can’t wrap my head around bad behavior. I don’t get why it starts. I don’t get why it doesn’t stop. This isn’t about religion or hypocrisy or meanness or rudeness, topics for sure but not for now. This post is about neighbors and leaders acting badly and either not noticing or not caring enough about the other and presenting risks of harm….real harm. I am hard pressed to believe it is because they think they actually are in the right. I could be wrong about that.
Examples Abound
Start with this one. In my neck of the woods, we have had extremely high winds. There have been alerts, including the need to prevent fires by smoking. There was a Facebook post about garbage flying and the need to hold it down with cords. Someone observed that they had “received” garbage from miles away. See the warning below.
And sadly, yesterday, two things happened. Fourteen people were displaced in a fire in our town that thankfully the fire department contained so the damage was not even worse as it occurred in a heavily populated area (most of the town including my community is heavily populated). Here’s a link to the article.
Yet, also yesterday, my neighbor was in the street (no longer thankfully smoking on her porch or in her home due to intervention) smoking. The winds are howling and she’s outside smoking. Imagine the risks of her ashes (not to speak of her lighting up) blowing and hitting a dry surface and leading to a fire. Imagine. It isn’t even a hard stretch to see the risks. And there were warnings.
But, somehow or other, she is oblivious to the risks to the other. How is that even possible? Does she think the laws of nature (and fire) don’t apply to her? Does she think she is above law? Does she think she is “free” to do as she pleases, the risks to others notwithstanding?
I don’t get it. Wouldn’t it be safer for the rest of us if she smoked in her parked car? Who will stop her? Seriously, who will step up and say: “NO. This isn’t safe for others.” Not me as I’ve already alienated her family and dealt with their lawyer on her behavior. Who will get her to stop putting the lives of others at risk? Put a note under her door. Text her. Put a sign on her porch.
Another example:
About 80,000 employees of HHS received an email (what a way to communicate sensitive decisions) offering them a buyout of $25,000 with a deadline of March 14, 2025. That email was sent March 8, 2025. Oh, measles cases reached over 200. As I recollect, two people have died.
Don’t get me started on other firings/buy-outs across government. Seriously, I get bloat in the federal (and state and local) government and the need to trim, which is not the same as slash and burn.
To repeat from the commentary on the example above with my neighbor: It isn’t even a stretch to see the risks [of mass firings]. But, somehow or other, those governing are oblivious to the risks of the other. How is that even possible? Do leaders think the laws don’t apply to them? Do they think they are above law? Do they think they are “free” to do as they please, the risks to others notwithstanding?
Add in: Might we want to consider the age and stage of the fired employees? Might we want to look closely at their skill sets? Might we want to be vastly more nuanced in who gets fired when? And just a question: How far does $25,000 go if you don’t have a job (or retirement….and don’t get me started on SSA) and yet have a mortgage/rent and kids or other dependents and need for food and medicines and transportation? Consider too: might we want to consider disease spread in the US? Just saying.
My Question Then:
Explain the above examples to me. What accounts for obliviousness? Is the world highly populated with narcissists? Are folks missing empathy? Are folks so self-focused that they cannot see the potential for damage in what they are doing? Are they so willing to take care of their own agenda (smoking or cuts) that they can’t or don’t see impact of those other than themselves?
Explain it to me. I am all ears.
Postscript: I just learned that my friends own one of the buildings that burned down on Washington Street. How awful. They too live near the neighbor who smokes. All the more ironic that I shared the risks of fire from smoking and its potential for damage. This neighbor’s smoking behavior in the wind threatens the lives and property of others. Stop! Enough.
