Don Lemon, CNN and People in Their Prime

Much has already been written about Don Lemon’s way off base comments about Nikki Haley, a presidential candidate, being past her “prime” (I’ll return to the term momentarily.) Ms. Haley is 51 years old. Mr. Lemon is 56 years old. CNN demanded (asked?) that he have formal training but the training was brief as he was back on the set in a period of days, not weeks or months.

I wonder what that training involved. Videos? Speeches? Readings? CNN hasn’t disclosed.

One commentary suggested that the needed formal training should involve Mr. Lemon being in a room with a dozen women over the age of 51. And then he can listen to them discuss their primes.

For me, it is worth exploring the meaning of the word “prime,” particularly since I just can’t watch Mr. Lemon delivering the news any longer. His misogyny seeps through (at least for me). I’m done.

PRIME: What does it mean?

So when I hear the word “prime,” I think of two things immediately: prime meat (don’t get me started with the idea that women are just pieces of meat), and prime numbers (as compared to composite numbers). Now, I would struggle to name the 25 prime numbers between 1 and 100 but I get that prime numbers have some key meaning and it isn’t negative.

Mr. Lemon was perhaps using the word “prime” to mean someone was at their best, at their optimal state of being. It is defined as “a state of the greatest strength, vigor or success in a person’s life.” Note the word “or.”

Sadly, like many others, I think Mr. Lemon failed to consider or at least express that whether one is in one’s prime is both objective and subjective assessments made by a person or by others related to another. And, being in one’s prime can have many meanings — the prime of one’s creativity, the prime of one’s wisdom, the prime of one’s career, the prime of one’s emotional balance, the prime of one’s parenting years, the prime of one’s strength as a leader or an athlete or a human.

But, there was a sexist twinge to Mr. Lemon’s comments: he tied prime to age and by innuendo to sexual attraction, at least as I perceived his comments. He had commented the certain male political candidates were past their prime (Biden and Trump). And for a woman, Nikki Haley was past her prime although she was decades younger than either President Biden or Mr. Trump. Thus, he seemed to be referencing something beyond her intellectual prime.

Now if Mr. Lemon was referencing “sexual prime,” he again missed the mark. Men have an earlier prime than women, although some studies suggests that women’s prime is person dependent and not fixed. And was Mr. Lemon actually referencing Ms. Haley’s sexual prime? Seriously?

Ask Those Over 50….

Ask men and women over 50. Many of us (present company included) have found their prime in many ways in the latter decades of their lives. I have seen this in action, remarkable men and women vibrant in their 70’s — learning new sports, inventing new health devices, starting new relationships. And my mother, now 95, worked until her late 80’s helping children thrive and she did so with grace and wisdom and compassion.

Some examples: Creative prime is but one. Some artists do not find their prime until they are in their 8th decade. Some authors and photographers too. Some people hit their prime early — say in being a ballerina or a composer. But, one’s prime is variable and nuanced. One’s prime understanding of self can come late….and certainly is evolving.

That’s really my point. Mr. Lemon’s comments were undergirded by assumptions that are false. He went off script and showed how he perceives people, women in particular.

Now if one is past one’s prime, one has reached one’s expiration date. I would suggest that Mr. Lemon is now past his prime as a CNN anchor. He is past his expiry date. That means for me that he should not be on the air any longer, in the absence of coming into a new prime filled with wisdom and perspective and insight. That would take work over months — not days.

I leave you all with this thought. In her book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, Lori Gottlieb makes many poignant statements but this one seemed particularly apt here. (Her book is well worth reading if you are trying to determine more about oneself and one’s life and loves and hurdles and choices.)

Here’s the quote:

….I am reminded that the heart is just as fragile at seventy as it is at seventeen. The vulnerability, the longing, the passion — they are all in full force. Falling in love never gets old. No matter how jaded you are, how much suffering love has caused you, a new love can help you feel hopeful and alive….[But] late-in-life love has the benefits of being especially forgiving, generous, sensitive — and urgent.

Take that Don Lemon and reflect on it. Process it. Go deeper into your own biases and beliefs. Spare us your false assumptions and spend the time exploring who you are….for real. As an anchor, either just tell the news or bring a better version of yourself to the job. Nothing in-between works, at least for me.

Onward.

PS. Note the Canadian journalist who was recently let go because she let her hair go gray and was viewed as past her prime for prime time. Another example of missing the value and understanding of prime.

PPSS. The Lemon gaffe took on added meaning when amazing Oscar Award winner Michelle Yeoh observed on stage in her acceptance speech that one shouldn’t let anyone tell you that you are past your prime. Lemon did not comment. Gee, what a shock amidst a blow across the bow.