Dealing with Sexual Abuse and Harassment: Witness Reporting
There was a recent op-ed in the New York Times about an intern’s experience with being sexually harassed at an event while working at the Pentagon. What happened AFTER the incident is what is worthy of attention. And we can all learn from it. It is worth reading and re-reading.
Witnesses Reporting Incidents
Post incident, the intern found support in the workplace. The male harasser was reported to authorities by another male working at the Pentagon who witnessed the event. Her co-workers supported her too and made her feel that she did nothing wrong and they saw the wrong and were there for her. Even the person who reported the incident had a stellar response to her “thank-you.” He responded, “we are all here for each other,” as if a thank-you wasn’t even needed.
How often does that happen? How many witnesses have reported what they saw? And, how many women (me included) have not reported incidents of sexual harassment and abuse? How often have we judged that the risks of reporting are too great; we didn’t want to put our jobs, our safety, our security at risk. And, we worried about how others would view us. We most assuredly did not often expect our male and female co-workers to stand behind us.
The idea of witnesses reporting abuse is a crucial change among the military. And bravo to the reporting witness of the Pentagon incident. But, we have seen other similar examples in recent months, all of which are positive signs in dealing with unacceptable situations. Add to this that the reporting of other forms of abuse or violence or police brutality by witnesses helps lead to punishment and conviction of wrongdoers.
Think about the video taken at the scene where then Officer Chauvin pinned down George Floyd. Think about those who reported individuals who raided the Capital on January 6th. Think about the staff members who resigned when one victim shared abuse by then Governor Cuomo. And, think about how it takes courage to step forward (or resign in protest).
To date, speaking up and out on behalf of others has either been the exception not the rule and has been seen as risky or snitching or lacking in utility. To put it bluntly, if reporting hurts the reporter and doesn’t even change the narrative, why do it?
There are lots of reasons we need folks to speak up and out when they see wrongs committed. And, if we can make that ability easier and we listen to those who speak up, we will all feel safer. We won’t feel so alone or at risk.
Schools
My area of expertise is trauma and education and the above described issues have relevance in the school/college context too. Consider how we deal with bullying and sexual harassment and assault in the educational arena. Do we see witnesses stepping forward with ease and reporting the wrongs done to students by other students or teachers? Sadly, the answer is oft-times no. Think Penn State. In part, this could be improved if we have a “no-pursuit” policy, namely that those who report wrongs cannot be disciplined. To be sure, that presents other problems.
But, we tend not to side with those bullied and assaulted sexually. Indeed, we call them victims and we shy away on many occasions. And, the person bullied or sexually harassed often does not disclose what happened to them. They are too afraid and too embarrassed.
We would be wise to consider sharing this op-ed in the educational arena and enabling discussion of witness reporting. We have tried this with cheating and honor codes and that approach hasn’t gone so well. Might be time to try again, with this op-ed in our hands.
Cultural Shift
Might we just be experiencing a cultural shift? Might we have reached the point where reporting abusers and wrongdoers is seen as a positive, not a negative? Might we want to encourage witness reporting and share how beneficial it is on so many levels — helping the person harassed/abused; enabling timely punishment of the wrongdoer; and signaling a change in how we view the acceptability of abuse and harassment.
I am wondering if this might be a silver lining tied to all the horrors in our world, all the deaths and illnesses, all the harms done to others by people in power. Is it possible that the balance of power is shifting and witness reporting of what they observe is lauded not looked down upon as snitching.
Stated differently: Did the incident at the Pentagon message and role model a form of behavior that has been on the rise that we need to acknowledge and praise and encourage.
It is vastly easier to be silent. It takes courage to speak out. Imagine how we’d all feel if we knew others would speak out should we even be harassed and abused? Just ponder that and carry that op-ed in your purse or pocket or wallet. It is a symbol worthy of our attention.
